My best friend despises these shorts. She has been trying to make me throw them away since the first rip led to my right cheek being introduced to the world. They used to be my dad's (as jeans alas, my father is not Tobias Funke). I am sad you can now actually see daylight through the seat area, but I’m too proud/loyal/cheap to go to Urban Outfitters or Rokit or wherever and buy a soulless, better-fitting replacement. I have written a paean to them;
You have the life experience of 10,000 pairs of jeggings
You have seen so many grass stains and wine spills
Spilled makeshift ashtrays in tents and damp sand abandonments
And I am too scared to wash you
In case you disintegrate.
In other news, I have a rotten cold and have to be on a train for 7 and a half hours tomorrow, where I will undoubtedly be glared at by everyone around me the entire way for giving them tsars.